


i'll hold you (in the strongest storm)

by lovecamedown



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Post 3x16, Wally centric, Wally's POV, alternate outcome, so i'm hurting, wally is hurting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-30
Updated: 2017-04-30
Packaged: 2018-10-25 23:02:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10774320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovecamedown/pseuds/lovecamedown
Summary: after what happened in the speed force, wally can barely remember what it feels like to be okay. thankfully, he's surrounded by his family and friends, and the one person he calls home.//the fallout of 3x16; my version. quickwest centric!





	i'll hold you (in the strongest storm)

**Author's Note:**

> okieeee so this is basically an alternate version of what happens after 3x16! and jesse returns, because she shouldn't have left in the first place. :')

Wally has always been fairly accustomed to insomnia. Especially since his mom died.

But now, the insomnia he used to deal with feels like child’s play.

These days, he can’t even close his eyes without instantly seeing things; horrible things, things that he doesn’t want to relive, things that he _never_ wants to hear or see again. Things that being in the Speed Force put him through over and over and over again.

His mom taking her last breath being at the top of the list. The way it felt to watch her fade away in front of him, nothing he could do to stop it.

Every time he closes his eyes, he feels it again. Sees it. Hears it. Watches it.

So, he just doesn’t close his eyes. He stays awake reading, working, listening to music; sometimes even just sitting up with his light on at 3am, letting his mind wander.   
Letting his mind wander to the only thought that brings him light—the only person who truly makes him forget about all the bad stuff; who always knows what to say and how to make him feel in touch with himself again when everything is out of focus. He pictures a girl in a red suit and a ponytail, with the most beautiful smile Wally has ever seen. _Jesse._  
He thinks of her voice; the way she said “I love you” to him, and how he can’t wait to hear her say it again.

He imagines her as she saves everyone on Earth-3; getting in to all kinds of adventures and making everyone there feel safe and protected, knowing that Jesse Quick will always come to their rescue.

Just thinking about her relieves some of the tension in his chest when he feels panic start to bubble under the surface and his breathing get deeper. When he feels like he’s about to faint and his legs go numb and everything feels weird.

Sometimes, in the night when he couldn't sleep, he used to go for a run; but it’s rare, now. Running used to feel like the most natural, amazing, elating thing in the whole world; like it was what Wally was born for. He still thinks it is, in some ways. But running has also always felt like being one with the Speed Force; which was great back then, and something Wally used to cling on to for dear life.

But now, feeling at one with the Speed Force is not what he wants. It just reminds him.

So instead, he usually chooses to walk around the house when he’s feeling restless; careful not to wake Joe at such ugly hours.

Although after a few nights he’ll be so exhausted that sleeping happens without his permission, his eventual sleep is always disturbed and plagued with nightmares that he can’t wake up from when he wants to; even when he’s clawing at the darkness, trying to get out, trying to open his eyes and move his legs but everything feels _stuck_.

No one knows that his insomnia has gotten so bad. People probably have their suspicions – what with the constant bags under his eyes and his general lethargy – but they don’t know the magnitude. And he doesn’t want to tell anyone, because he doesn’t want to talk about it. He doesn't want to talk about how broken he feels. He wants to pretend that none of it ever happened. That it was all just a far off dream.

 

“Hey, Wally,” Barry says to him one day, approaching him as he sits on the steps in the speed lab. Barry sits beside him.

“Hey,” Wally says, playing with a loose thread on his jeans.

“How are you doing, Wally? Are you, you know…doing okay?” He claps a hand on Wally’s back and keeps it there in comfort while he looks at him, waiting for a response.

Wally shrugs one shoulder. “I guess so.”

“You don’t have to be,” Barry’s voice is soft, “you know that, right? You don’t have to be strong. What you went through, it’s…,”

“I don’t want to talk about it, okay, Barry?” Wally snaps, looking up at Barry to let him know that he’s serious. His tone was so harsh that he’d expected Barry to look offended, but he looks completely unfazed. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to snap, I…,”

“You don’t need to be sorry, Wally, it’s okay. It’s all okay.”

Wally sighs. Runs his hands over his hair. Then he stands up, pacing around for a moment with his hand grasping the back of his neck. There’s that tightness in his chest again; the feeling of fear rising in the back of his throat. _No, no, no_.

“Wally,” Barry says. “Wally, it’s okay.”

“No, it’s not,” Wally’s voice is so small, so husky. Tears are threatening to pour out at any moment. “It’s not okay, Barry.”

“I know,” he replies, tone sad. “I know. But it will be. You’re going to be okay.”

Wally stops pacing and slowly turns to him, but doesn’t look up; just stares at the ground. He hasn’t really talked to anyone about this yet. And maybe he’s not entirely ready to go in to the details, but right now, with the faintness starting in his head again and the black hole tearing through his core threatening to swallow him whole, he has to tell _someone_ ; at least tell someone that he’s not exactly doing great.

When he blinks, a tear falls on to his cheek. “I don’t know if I’m ever going to be okay again.”

“Oh, Wally, man—” Barry stands. He surprises him by enveloping him in a hug. Wally accepts it instantly. “I promise,” Barry says, “I promise you will be. It’s just going to take time.”

Wally nods. He doesn’t quite believe him, but for now, it feels good to have admitted that he’s not okay (even if he’s pretty sure everyone already knew). “Okay.”

* * *

He has another panic attack that night, but it doesn’t last long. He manages to get his breathing back to normal much quicker than usual, and his head stops spinning pretty quickly. His tummy begins to rumble, though – these attacks aren’t great for a speedster’s hunger – so he decides to head downstairs to grab something to eat.

When he pads past Joe’s door, he hears him snoring softly inside, and it grounds him. Reminds him that he’s not alone. His dad is still here; his family and friends are still here. People who care about him.

Jesse isn’t here, though. And as much as that hurts – as much as he wishes more than anything that she would Speed in to that breech room and tell him she’s staying, she’s staying for good; she won’t ever leave again – just the thought of her does make him smile. (It always will.)

 _I love you, Jesse Quick,_ is the last thing he thinks before he climbs back in to bed and dares to brave closing his eyes.

* * *

Another week passes.

Joe finds Wally in the living room at the house when he gets home from work.

“Hey, son,” he says, clapping him on the shoulder. Wally’s sitting with the TV on, finding himself able to concentrate on it for the first time since _it_ happened.

“Hey, dad. How was work?”

“Same old,” Joe shrugs. “Barry’s asked us if we can head over to STAR Labs. You alright with that?”

Wally nods, turning off the TV. “Yeah. Let’s go.”

“Do you feel up to running, or…?”

“Yeah. I can run.” He says, and finds himself actually meaning it, and Joe smiles. 

Wally still finds it strange to run and feel so connected to the Speed Force; it’s still almost a trigger for him.

And he has to be careful about what times he thinks he can handle it. Because when you’re running _that_ fast through the streets and the roads, you have to be on your guard and be alert at all times; and when Wally isn’t feeling himself, it’s not the safest of things. Especially when he has someone else in tow.

 

“Hey,” Wally and Joe say at the same time when they Speed in to the cortex.

Barry grins at him. “You’re running.”

“Yeah, well, I’m having a good day.” Wally says, and for the first time, he actually means it.

“That’s great,” he smiles and brings him in for a hug.

“So why’d you bring us down here?” Joe asks casually, leaning against the desk and folding his arms over his chest.

“We got a message,” Cisco says, tapping the keyboard in front of him to bring something up. “From Earth-2. It's Jesse. She's…,”

Wally frowns, stepping closer. “Is she okay?”

“She’s fine, she’s fine,” Cisco assures, “probably should’ve led with that. Sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

“So, what’d she say?” Joe asks.

Cisco presses one more button and a hologram appears in front of them in the middle of the cortex. It’s Jesse; she’s wearing her suit, and she looks just like she always does; still radiant even through the slight blur of the image. Wally’s heart melts. He wishes he could reach out and touch her.

“Hey, guys,” Jesse says. “It’s me. Obviously. Uh—look. I’m coming back. I went to Earth-2 briefly to see my dad and we discovered that there are multiple speedsters on I guess what we'd call Earth-7, and we got in to contact with them. One of them is going to Earth-3, one is going to Earth-2 to work with my dad to protect the city.   
“I…know I said I wanted to go away because of Savitar and what he said about me,” she goes on to say, running a hand over her hair and through her ponytail. (Wally wishes he could run _his_ hands through her hair right now). She continues, “but I…I realised I don’t want to be afraid anymore. I don’t want to run away from what Savitar told me. You guys—you guys have had all kinds of predictions from him, all kinds of terrifying prophecies, and I know you’ll know what I’m going through; you’ll understand why I wanted to leave. But…I think I need to come back. I realised I don’t want to run. I want to stand, and I want to fight, and I want to help you guys.”

Jesse’s hologram-figure looks down at the floor and she tucks some hair behind her ear, looking almost bashful at her next words. “You guys are my family now, you know that. And I…I can’t just leave you when you might—you might need me. I don’t know, that probably—” she laughs shyly (Wally’s heart does a little tug inside his chest at the sound) “—that probably sounds really pretentious, but I, uh…I think it’s what’s right.   
“So basically, this is just a really long winded way of saying that I’m coming back. Once things are sorted with this Earth’s new stand-in Flash, I’m coming back. I…won’t be long. I don’t know when you’ll receive this message, so it could be a short time for you guys, or maybe it’ll be a half day until I'm back. But I’ll see you soon.” And a little smile flashes over her face, and it looks kind of like how she smiles at Wally, like the smile is just for him; but maybe Wally’s just imagining things because he wants to see her so badly. Wants to see her smile at him like that right here, right now.

Cisco shuts off the feed and everyone in the room turns to look at Wally for a moment before looking elsewhere and turning to each other.

“I know we probably could’ve just told you about the message over the phone,” Barry says, coming up behind Wally to pat him on the shoulder. “But I thought you’d want to see it in person.”

Wally is still staring at the place where her hologram was, an expression on his face that he imagine looks rather dazed. He’s smiling, though. Just softly. And his heart feels just slightly less heavy than usual. “Yeah,” he nods. “Thanks, guys.”

“You’re welcome.” Caitlin says softly.

“So…when did that message come in? When do you think she’ll get here?” Joe asks.

Shrugging, Cisco spins around in his chair to face him. “The message came in a couple hours ago. Could be anytime now.”

Wally’s heart does a little leap in his chest. This is the first time he’s looked forward to something in, at least what _feels_ like, a really long time.

“Still wanna go for that pizza, Wally?” Joe turns to Wally, and then smiles knowingly. “Or do you wanna stay here and wait for her?”

“Uh…I know it could be a while yet, but I…kinda wanna wait.”

Joe chuckles. “That’s fine.”

Barry stands up. “If you want, I can go grab us all some pizza.”

Cisco immediately looks excited. “You will? The pizza from Keystone?"

"Mhmm."

Cisco grins. " _This guy_.”

Chuckling, Barry grabs his jacket. “I’ll get the usuals!”

 

A half hour later and after everyone has worked their way through the majority of several boxes of pizza (no one lets the speedsters speed-eat, because it freaks everyone out, so they have to eat at a normal pace), there’s a beep coming through the computer system, signaling activity in the breech room.

“Jesse’s here,” Cisco says, “or at least we hope it’s Jesse.”

Wally literally drops everything and flashes off downstairs, finding himself running faster than he’s run in a while. Cisco’s alarm system was right; there’s an open breech here, swirling around and flashing, waiting to purge its traveler. Wally can just feel that it’s Jesse.

And it is.

She jumps out on to the ground wearing her suit and mask, a bag swung over her shoulder, and after regaining her balance she stands up fully and meets Wally’s eyes. Her face breaks out in to a huge grin, eyes so bright and so happy, and Wally finds himself smiling too. _Grinning_ , actually.

“Jesse,” he breathes through his smile, and she laughs, throwing herself towards him; dropping her bag to the floor and wrapping her arms tightly around his neck, burying her face in to his shoulder.

“Hey,” she whispers as Wally wraps his arms around her in return.

Wally laughs. It’s a sound he hasn’t heard from himself in a while. “Hey,” he runs a hand through her hair and holds her tight against him. After a moment, he pulls away but stays close, bringing his hands up to cup her cheeks. She gazes up in to his eyes, smiling softly, arms still around his neck.

Wally looks her all over, taking in every curve and plane of her face; every freckle, the way her eyes are lifted with her smile, every beautiful hair on her head, her skin, her _lips_.

“Are you okay—” Jesse starts, but Wally cuts her off by pressing his lips to hers, softly but urgently, and she makes a noise of surprise but reciprocates right away.

Their lips move together for a few long, slow, perfect moments, and they almost completely get lost in each other before there are footsteps coming down the hall and up the steps that lead in to the breech room, and the pair have to break apart.

“Jesse!” Iris grins, running towards her to give her a hug.

“Hey, guys!” Jesse gives everyone hugs and they all great her with big smiles and happy _welcome back_ s. Wally watches, a smile on his face and a warmth in his heart.

He knows that Jesse can’t fix him; no one can. But her being here is going to make this whole recovery thing a _lot_ easier. Because he no longer has to imagine her smile or her voice or her arms around him; he no longer has to remind himself that she’s alive and she loves him. Because now, everyone that’s important to him is here, and things are going to be okay. He knows that. In this moment, right here, he knows that; even if he’ll probably start to doubt it later.

On their way upstairs, Jesse quickly changes in to her regular outfit – jeans and a floral T-shirt, hair flowing freely down to her shoulders again – and then they head back up in to the cortex.

“Oh, _pizza_!” She gushes, rushing towards a box with a few slices left inside, hastily grabbing one. “How did you know?”

Caitlin chuckles. “Help yourself. We’re all done.”

“Speak for yourself,” Barry teases, and Jesse just sticks her tongue out at him before taking a big bite.

Wally laughs. He leans against one of the tables and folds his arms over his chest. “So, how was Earth-3? Any crazy new villains?”

“Do they have flying cars on Earth-3?” Cisco asks.

“More like big balloons.” Barry answers.

“Oh yeah, I forgot you’ve been to Earth-3,” Jesse has a mouth full of pizza as she talks, and Wally is definitely head over heels in love with this girl, because even _that_ is the most adorable thing he’s ever seen.

“Only briefly, but, yeah.” Barry smiles.

“Well, no flying cars, unfortunately. I’m sure we could find an Earth with some, though.” Jesse grins.

Cisco nods thoughtfully. “That would be worth looking in to,” he says, “you know, when we’re not trying to take down a super villain who thinks he’s the God of Speed.”

“I liked Earth-3, and there were some weird metas even in the short time I was there. But,” Jesse swallows her mouthful and smiles around the room at everyone. “It’s nothing compared to here.”

Everyone smiles softly, and Wally’s heart tugs in his chest; this time in a good way.

Once Jesse has finished her pizza, she dusts off her hands and walks over to Wally, smiling warmly at him. He smiles in return and opens his arms for her to walk in to.   
She does, of course. She leans against him, meaning she’s at an angle and literally resting her entire body weight on him because of the way he’s standing against the table (he doesn’t mind one bit), and wraps her arms around his waist. He reciprocates, resting his chin atop her head as she tucks her head under his neck and turns her gaze so she can see everyone, pressing the side of her face in to his chest. Wally squeezes her tighter for a moment and she does so in return, and they stand like that for a while whilst everyone brainstorms their next plan for defeating Savitar.

(Honestly, Wally can’t wait to just get home and be with Jesse for a little while.)

* * *

Jesse sleeps in Barry’s old room like she did before, and it’s truly a comfort to know she’s here, it really is; but there’s always something about the night time that brings back the memories. And, as usual, he panics.

Nothing new.

Still just as horrible.

Once the tightness in his chest has faded a little, he goes to the kitchen to eat something. On his way back to his room, the door opposite his opens just a crack, and Jesse peers at him through the small gap with a frown on her face. She opens the door a little more and steps towards him.

“Hey,” she whispers. Her eyes dart all over his face, and he knows she’s seen the tear stains and the puffiness of his eyes. “You alright?”

Wally opens his mouth to speak, but his throat is so dry, and he’s not sure what to say.

“Hey,” Jesse reaches out to cup his cheeks. He's grateful she said something because he honestly didn’t know _what_ he could say that wouldn’t result in crying again. She continues, “do you want to sit for a bit?”

Wordlessly, Wally nods, and she closes the door behind her so they can head in to Wally’s room.   
They sit on his bed and Wally sniffs, feeling tears sting at his eyes again. It’s 2am. He feels guilty for keeping her awake like this; but he also really does want to talk to her. He’s just…not sure what to say.

Jesse’s hand comes up to cup the back of his neck and she strokes his hair comfortingly, looking at him from the side. “Wally,” she says softly, voice a little louder now that they’re in his room and they won’t wake Joe. “Wally, are you alright?”

Wally just shakes his head.

“Do you want to talk about it?” She shuffles in closer and puts her spare hand on his knee. Wally reaches out and places his hand on top of hers.

“I—yeah, I just…don’t know what to say.”

“That’s okay. You don’t have to know.”

He lifts their joined hands and kisses the back of hers.

“Are you…still…dealing with what happened in…you know—the Speed Force?” She asks, and she sounds hesitant, like she’s not sure if bringing this up is the best idea.

Wally nods. “Yeah. I—I still am. And I feel kind of silly for it.”

“Why?”

“Because…it’s been almost two weeks. I should just get over it.”

“Wally,” Jesse moves in even closer and squeezes his hand. “You went through literal hell in there. No one’s expecting you to get over it just like that, okay? You can take as much time as you need.”

“But I—I should be back to normal, I should be helping people! I should be—”

“What you _should_ be doing is making sure that you feel safe and happy before doing anything else for anyone,” Jesse says, and her voice is soft but also firm. “Look, Wally…you’re always so hard on yourself. You expect the absolute best from yourself, and I get that, I do, I just…sometimes, ‘doing your best’ is actually just letting yourself _feel_. Letting yourself take the time that you need to heal.”

Wally’s crying again now, silently this time; tears just pouring down his cheeks. He sniffs, reaching up to wipe his eyes, even though the attempts at drying his skin are futile because the tears just keep falling.

“I just…feel like I’m letting everyone down.”

“You’re not, Wally, I promise you’re not,” her voice is so comforting. He feels himself letting go of his fears; letting his guard down. “You are the best person I have ever known. Letting people down by _feeling_ , Wally, that’s…that’s not possible.”

Wally sniffs, and a little sob comes out. “I just…,” he screws his eyes shut, “no one knows how bad it’s gotten, Jesse. I…I can’t sleep. I can’t run. I can’t—I can’t even close my eyes without _remembering_. I’m—I just had a panic attack. That’s why…I was downstairs. It made me hungry.”

“Oh, Wally,” Jesse whispers, running her hand over his hair again. “Oh, baby.”

“And I—I haven’t told anyone because…,”

“You feel like you’re letting them down?”

He nods, feeling another wave of tears rise beneath the surface.

“Wally,” Jesse says after a moment. “How often does this happen? How often do you panic?”

Wally stays silent.

“Is it every night?”

After a moment, he nods. “…Sometimes it’s more often than once.”

“Oh, Wally,” she says again, this time reaching out to hug him from the side, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. “Wally. I’m sorry, baby.”

Wally holds her arm and starts to cry in to her shoulder, and she holds him so tight, pressing little kisses to his clavicle and to his neck. Feeling her so close – her electricity from her Speed, the warmth of her body, her breath on his skin – creates a warmth in his chest that’s not been there for a while; a feeling of belonging, of _home_.

“I’m here now,” she whispers, like she can read his thoughts. “I’m here. You’re surrounded by so many people who love you, Wally; so many people who support you. You’ve got this.”

He holds on tight and nods, pressing a kiss to her neck. “You’re my light, Jesse Quick.”

He feels her smile. “And you’re mine.”

* * *

“Hey,” Jesse says gently, carefully closing Wally’s bedroom door behind her. It’s 11pm and Joe has gone to bed, but Jesse has come to see Wally since she knows now that he’s struggling so much with his sleep.

Wally’s sitting up on his bed against the headboard, one knee bent with his elbow resting on it as he holds a book, the other stretching out in front of him.

“Hey,” he smiles up at her and pats the space beside him. She’s wearing her grey sweats that she sleeps in, and they bunch at her ankles but she’s wearing some cosy socks that cover it up. Her T-shirt is dark red and big and soft, and on top she’s wearing one of Wally’s zip-up hoodies.

“You alright?” She asks, crawling on to the bed beside him and then cuddling in to his side, wrapping an arm over his stomach.

“Better now you’re here,” he kisses the top of her head. “You?”

“Same,” Jesse sighs contentedly and rests her head on his shoulder. “What you reading?”

“Ugh, just a boring textbook for school.”

“Shouldn’t you be reading something less involved before trying to sleep?”

“You say that like I let myself try and sleep.”

Jesse lifts her head to look at him. She raises one eyebrow when he looks at her in return.

“What?”

“Wally, you need sleep.”

“I’m a speedster; I don’t need as much sleep as other people.”

“Isn’t that exactly the reason you _should_ get enough sleep?”

Wally raises his eyebrows. She just does it in return, though, and doesn't give him an answer; so Wally rolls his eyes good-heartedly. “You know what I mean.”

“I do,” she places a hand on his chest and pecks his lips. “But you know what _I_ mean.”

Sighing, Wally shuts his textbook, placing it on his nightstand and then turning more towards her. He wraps one arm around her back and the other around her knees, turning her so she’s got her legs over his lap, and then his hand sits on her thigh, holding her comfortably in place. Jesse smiles softly up at him and reaches out to cup his cheek with her hand.

“Would it help if I stayed with you?” She asks, voice quiet and just a little shy.

Wally feels his face light up a little, even though he tries to suppress the way he wants to grin with glee. He smiles gently instead. “Are you sure?”

She nods and strokes his cheek. “Mhmm.”

“Then…yeah. I think that would help.”

“Yeah?”

He nods once. “Yeah.”

Smiling widely, Jesse leans in to kiss him, catching his top lip between both of hers. “Then I’ll stay.”

Wally finds himself smiling, and he leans back in for another kiss. Then another. Then another.

And then they’re just _kissing_ , his hand gently squeezing her thigh and hers falling back to roam over his hair, just like she knows he loves. Her mouth is so warm and soft and wet against his and the way her lips move with his just makes him forget everything he’s ever worrying or thinking too much about. She feels like comfort. She feels like home. Like _light_.

An hour later and they’re cuddling again; this time with Wally sitting up against the headboard and Jesse in between his legs, leaning back against his chest. His arms are around her and her hands sit on top of them, tracing circles in to his skin. They’re talking about anything and everything: college, adventures on Earth-2 and 3, adventures _here_ before Jesse arrived. They even talk about completely random things, like what their favourite breads are, and even _that_ makes Wally so very happy. Anything with Jesse makes him happy.

“So,” Jesse starts, “you mentioned that…you’re finding it hard to run sometimes.”

Wally sighs and nods, pressing a kiss to the back of her neck.

She leans further back in to him and tips her head back on to his shoulder so she can kind of see his face from the side. “Do you want to talk about it?”

He takes a deep breath and looks up at the ceiling for a moment. “I guess I just…,” he exhales. “You know how when you’re running, and you can feel the Speed Force just coursing through your veins? Like you’re one with it?”

“Yeah.”

“Well…I guess, after my experience _in_ the Speed Force, where I felt that same feeling, only it was all around me and on top of…all the things I saw, it—it just feels weird. It brings it all back.”

She nods sympathetically. “I get that.”

“Yeah, so…it’s been hard. Some days it’s okay. Most days it…just feels wrong. It feels unsettling, and that’s not how it’s supposed to feel when I run.”

Jesse rolls over in his arms and kneels in between his legs instead so she can face him. Her eyes meet his, and she reaches out to hold his face in her hand.

“I’m sorry.”

He turns his head just a little and kisses the inside of her wrist. “Why are you sorry?”

“I just hate seeing you in pain.”

“I know,” he wraps his arms more firmly around her waist and gently pulls her closer to him on the bed. “And I love you for that.”

Her beautiful lips twitch up just a little in to a small smile. She leans in, places a soft kiss against his lips.

And he actually finds himself smiling when she pulls away, resting his forehead against hers, just loving being with her.

“Hey…do you mind if I try something?” She bites her lip, but it’s not in a suggestive way; she actually looks nervous and unsure.

He frowns. “What?”

“It—it involves running. But… _me_ running, not you.”

Wally swallows, looking back and forth between both of her eyes. Then he nods, and takes her spare hand in his. “I trust you.”

She smiles, then kisses him. And then she takes him in her arms and she’s speeding out of the house, down the street, through the roads.

Wally feels the familiar rush of the wind against his skin, the city lights rushing past them, feeling like he’s on top of the world; like nothing can touch him. It’s the feeling he loves so much about his speed. The feeling he will never, ever get enough of and will always want to experience.

But there’s none of that heavy, intense Speed Force aura running in his veins to cover or mix with the feeling of being on Cloud-9. There are no flashbacks to feeling the Speed Force all around him and watching what he saw in there over and over again.

Right now, with Jesse running, her electricity sparking against his skin and making him feel closer to her than ever; Wally can only focus on what feels good. That’s all he can _feel_. He remembers what it’s like to run and be in control. He remembers what it’s like to run and be _happy_ , not overwhelmed.

He finds himself laughing. It’s everything he loves about his speed. Just without the overwhelming feeling of being back in That Place.

After what feels like forever but not nearly long enough, Jesse comes to a stop in one of the city’s smaller parks. She brushes back a stray bit of hair from her face and grins at him. He’s standing there with a huge grin on his face, heart thumping in his chest, out of breath and feeling like he used to feel before what he went through.

Jesse grins and steps closer to take his hand. “How was that?”

“That was—I—that was—amazing, just—amazing!”

She laughs in glee. “I thought it might make you feel good.”

“I’ve missed that feeling so much, I…I forgot how it feels to just be… _free_ when you’re running!”

“You think you’re ready to run by yourself?”

“I…,”

“It’s okay if not,” she says hastily. “We can just keep doing that until you are.”

“No, I…I think I am. You—you reminded me what it feels like to run. You made me focus on the good parts; on what _good_ the Speed Force can do. Not just the bad stuff.”

Her grin is huge as she leans in to peck his cheek. “Well, then, let’s go.”

And they take off, hand in hand at first but then separate as they pick up the pace and need to use both their arms to balance them in their speed.

He finally feels like he always used to. Like he’s flying. Like nothing can touch him; nothing can bring him down.

He can still feel the Speed Force; of course he can. But it’s not _dark_ anymore. Now that he’s remembered what it’s like to truly be at one with it, to feel it coursing through his veins, spurring him on, reminding him who he is and what his purpose is; it doesn’t feel as scary.

Turns out, all he needed was a way to run without the Speed Force actually touching him, so he could remember all the goodness.

Jesse is running beside him at the same pace, and he looks over with a grin to see that she’s grinning too; she’s _laughing_. He has never seen something – someone – so beautiful.

They speed to a halt in a dark, deserted park lit only by the street lamps and the moon above them, and Wally’s laughing, elated, feeling so happy and so _free_ that he just has to kiss her.

“So? How do you feel?” Jesse asks against his lips, forehead pressed in to his.

“I feel…like me again.”

She smiles. “That’s what I was going for.”

“Thank you, Jesse.”

“It was all you, baby. You just needed to be reminded of how strong and capable you really are.”

He kisses her again, because he doesn’t know how he couldn’t. “I love you.”

“I love you, Wally.”

**Author's Note:**

> Some lil notes: 1) look, I don’t know how Jesse gets from Earth to Earth without Cisco, but I know that she does (I know I’ve probably just not been paying enough attention and haven’t quite twigged lmao) so just go with it :’)   
> 2) it’s very plausible that there are more than one speedsters on other earths so if one were to hear about the need for a speedster on another earth maybe they’d show up to help, idk. Just go with that too. :’) 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this fic! Please leave kudos if you did, and comments are always so appreciated! Thank you for reading :*
> 
> Love :* xxx


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